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no lifeguard on duty

by knuckle beach.

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1.
I don’t know why but this particular day Something about you just seemed different to me I didn’t know that you could talk that way You were a real good person with real bad taste And you could say that this was easy for me But you were runnin’ outta gasoline I got home, and you were stuck in the driveway Had a problem with me fallin’ in love You got stoned It was never enough—you said “Yr kinda cute, but you drink too much And all you do is get faded And complain about stuff” Now what you said isn’t just some small thing Yr not the queen of my heart, I’m not yr dance hall king I got dropped, and I could hardly stand up And you go Oh-wa-uh-o You say you wait wait wait wait wait wait It got easier But you still wish you had stayed It got dirtier You said “babe you keep me clean” But I was barely awake anyway And then you found me on a different day I got drowned It was a difficult way To go out When I could hardly stand up If I’m yr favorite it’s not a surprise Don’t wait up You might as well try I won’t tell Bout the beginning of us And you go Oh-wa-uh-o You say you wait wait wait wait wait wait It got easier But you still wish you had stayed It got dirtier You said “babe you keep me clean” But I was barely awake anyway
2.
Would you just grow up, or would you just let me do it? I’m tryina bide my time writing anything but the truth Would you just shut up, or is it too hard for you? And would you leave me beaten black and baby blue? So I walked off, left my head in the sand With a dollar in my wallet and a rock in my hand I was so uptight for a while, and I lost it. And you hung me to dry but that was par for the course then So baby, shape up or ship out And maybe you pinched on the parson’s side Cause right now, I’m too high to be nice Your bedside’s primed for the night of a lifetime So I was drinking tall boys, past out in the bathroom I know I’m cratchin’ out, but I promise I’m coming back soon Getting tired of John Denver and George Jones I oughtta get goin', I'm tryina go home But that was it, how you wanted to shake it up Yr tryina stay hydated—a waste of a paper cup, I Got a problem with cattle brandin’ and blood ties I’ve had enough “nice” So baby, shape up or ship out And maybe you pinched on the parson’s side Cause right now, I’m too high to be nice Your bedside’s primed for the night of a lifetime Bobby Womack—wanna go back Traded taste of a wasted evening Switchin’ windows, tryina get close Far away from a lazy weekend Wishin’ Codeine was still a slow theme You can say that we’ll keep it breezy You complain though, turn on the radio I’ll be listening to “Take It Easy” Take it easy x4 So baby, shape up or ship out And maybe you pinched on the parson’s side Cause right now, I’m too high to be nice Your bedside’s primed for the night of a lifetime
3.
you don’t wanna call it romance you wouldn’t even build a snowman all i wanted was to slowdance with the queen of the dirt and you don’t wanna take it easy you find it harder to believe me when all I wanna do is lay in bed completely inert but i don’t wanna waste all of my time telling you that this will be alright and I wanna say it’s sink or swim if yr just gonna fuckin sink but don’t you ever go home just don’t waste my time and you didn’t wanna be a princess which was perfectly fine and i don’t need for you to regress in hopes i’ll fall into line cause i’ve just had it with the vague sentences like “i love you, but i don’t need you” i just want this whole thing put to rest can we call it a night? but i don’t wanna waste all of my time telling you that this will be alright and i don't wanna say it’s sink or swim if yr just gonna fuckin’ sink but don’t you ever go home? just don’t waste my time just don’t waste my time
4.
now it’s been almost a year since you said you’d be right back with the backdrop a taxi in the aerosol freeze you said “if i’m honest, i think if i wasn’t leavin’, you wouldn’t have any reason to talk to me” now it’s slicker than cinnamon on the roof of yr mouth there’s medicine in the water if you can keep it all down if i made it harder than it had needed to be it didn’t give you a reason to talk to me well you got obliterated lost in yr thoughts on the walk back to bed it’s hard to articulate it so many words for how little you said you’ve gotta fake it babe just take a chance, try to make it better it only gets scarier you say you think I’d make a great communicator someday someone to talk to while i was draggin’ my fists i had the time of my life and you were runnin’ a bath you had yr hand on the knife yr stepmom emptied the trash saw where the cutlery went proceeded to ask me just how my night was spent and we got obliterated there’s not a lot left for the rest of the night i got you situated a glass from the tap and I switched off the light you’ve gotta face it babe you took a chance and you came untethered it only got scarier you say you think i’d make a great communicator someone 234 talk to
5.
You got yr day job, didn’t think it’d be like that You wanted nights off—now you’re just tired and borin- side your head it’s only young adult fiction It’s pretty basic, but it’s pretty goddamn important With your candy pants, and all your bold- faced lies Smoking your cigarettes, chasing your summer nights You opened up and sewed yrself shut You’ve got me talkin’ to myself in the mirror I fuckin’ hate that, I only do that when I’m faded Wiry frame up where you hang up your anger It’s getting grizzly, but we always trim this shit down You with your candy pants and all your bold-faced lies Smoking your cigarettes chasing your summer nights You opened up and sewed yrself shut While you were tuckin’ your tail, you had your nose on the rail You opened up and sewed yourself shut Life was checkin’ your chin so hard it left your head spinnin’ You opened up and sewed yourself shut I eat Totino’s while I watch my TedX’s They make me feel smarter, but the work’s already been done You got me hot me taught me whiskey and water The damage done did—we never know when to quit You with your candy pants and all your bold-faced lies Smoking your cigarettes, chasing your summer nights You opened up and sewed yourself shut While you were duckin’ your tale, you had your nose on the rail You opened up and sewed yourself shut Life was checkin’ your chin so hard it left your head spinnin’ You opened up and sewed yourself shut

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released May 20, 2022

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knuckle beach. Seattle, Washington

post-lofi farm emo from seattle, wa.

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